1. You agonise for hours over what to wear on a date and change outfits about 132 times.
2. When your date compliments you, you freak out that they only want to get into your pants.
3. But if they don’t compliment you, it must mean you look like something your cat coughed up.
4. When you go out for dinner, it takes half an hour to choose what you want off the menu.
5. And when your meal comes, you have instant food regret and wish you’d made another choice.
6. You worry that even the tiniest slip up will give the universe the opportunity to make you suffer, so you do everything you can to guard against it.
7. Every time you get a headache – CANCER!
9. You’re getting chest pains – HEART ATTACK! Wait, no, definitely cancer.
10. Your Google search history looks something like this.